As I write this, it has been nearly 9 years since that season spent in the refining fire of fear. Throughout that season—and even at various times in the years that have followed—I sought to understand the source of the fear. Was it something sent by God? Did it originate physically in my body—the result…
It’s a cold winter morning; Christmas has come and goneAnd I find myself in the stillness of a time without papers, exams, or readingsIn the stillness and solitude of my bedroom, I settle crosslegged in the center of my bedMy parched soul thirsty for time and space to reflect, to breathe, and to be with…
I awaken in a cold sweat.It's the middle of the night, and my heart is racing.The darkness of the night feels heavy, suffocating.God feels impossibly far from me.Or rather, I feel impossibly far from God.Fear devours my mind.I wrestle with consciousness, longing for the relief of sleep.A reprieve from the darkness that has consumed my…
Particularly when it comes to the issue of suffering, one of the great obstacles of the Christian life is disillusionment; we enter into this life with God with great expectation and excitement, buying into the myth that the Christian life is a life of ease—a “rainbows and puppy dogs” kind of life. So when suffering…
It’s July 28th, 2013. I stuff the last few items into the back of my car, take a deep breath, and catch one last look at my childhood home in the rearview mirror. I’ve packed my entire life into my little Hyundai Sonata; anything that doesn’t fit has to stay behind. Over the past few…
I have a serious love/hate relationship with writing; it’s something that I love to do, and something that (for some crazy reason) I feel called to do... the part that I hate is where I press the "publish" button. If you’ve read any of my previous posts, you’ve probably noticed that the things I write…
I’ve wrestled with writing this for quite some time now. It is a difficult and terrifying thing to open yourself up, to become transparent and vulnerable. We live in a harsh world that teaches us to be closed off, self-defensive, to keep our innermost parts hidden away. A world that tells us that we must…
Paramutheomai 