As I write this, it has been nearly 9 years since that season spent in the refining fire of fear. Throughout that season—and even at various times in the years that have followed—I sought to understand the source of the fear. Was it something sent by God? Did it originate physically in my body—the result…
It’s a cold winter morning; Christmas has come and goneAnd I find myself in the stillness of a time without papers, exams, or readingsIn the stillness and solitude of my bedroom, I settle crosslegged in the center of my bedMy parched soul thirsty for time and space to reflect, to breathe, and to be with…
I awaken in a cold sweat.It's the middle of the night, and my heart is racing.The darkness of the night feels heavy, suffocating.God feels impossibly far from me.Or rather, I feel impossibly far from God.Fear devours my mind.I wrestle with consciousness, longing for the relief of sleep.A reprieve from the darkness that has consumed my…
Particularly when it comes to the issue of suffering, one of the great obstacles of the Christian life is disillusionment; we enter into this life with God with great expectation and excitement, buying into the myth that the Christian life is a life of ease—a “rainbows and puppy dogs” kind of life. So when suffering…
There has been an interesting shift in my understanding of suffering over the course of the past year. It is a shift that is downright offensive to my sensibilities and human nature, and I have fought against it for much of my life. I’ve come to understand that pain and suffering can be a gift;…
In one of my last classes of the year, a professor read from the classic by C.S. Lewis, “Screwtape Letters.” If you’re not familiar with the book, Lewis provides insight into the Christian life through the fascinating perspective of a “Senior Demon”—Screwtape—writing to a “Junior Tempter”—Wormwood—about his attempts to draw his “patient”—a new Christian—away from…
The other day, I did a quick search for “news” on Google, and that simple search yielded disheartening results; more controversies regarding candidates for the U.S. presidential election, a failed mission to rescue hostages in Afghanistan, a policeman stabbed in France, and a shooting at a High School in Texas. It seems like the news…
Around this time, 7 long years ago, I was packing up my childhood room and counting down the days until I got to move out of my parents’ home and into the college dorms. That day feels like a lifetime ago, but I can still recall the excitement and anticipation that I felt (in fact,…
It’s July 28th, 2013. I stuff the last few items into the back of my car, take a deep breath, and catch one last look at my childhood home in the rearview mirror. I’ve packed my entire life into my little Hyundai Sonata; anything that doesn’t fit has to stay behind. Over the past few…
Broken. Merriam Webster’s Dictionary defines “Broken” as: Violently separated into parts Damaged or altered by breaking Made weak or infirm Cut off Not complete or full Admittedly, none of these definitions sound particularly comforting or attractive, and I think we could all agree that they are not exactly things that we would want to have…
Paramutheomai 