As I write this, it has been nearly 9 years since that season spent in the refining fire of fear. Throughout that season—and even at various times in the years that have followed—I sought to understand the source of the fear. Was it something sent by God? Did it originate physically in my body—the result…
It’s a cold winter morning; Christmas has come and goneAnd I find myself in the stillness of a time without papers, exams, or readingsIn the stillness and solitude of my bedroom, I settle crosslegged in the center of my bedMy parched soul thirsty for time and space to reflect, to breathe, and to be with…
It has been a few weeks now, and I’m exhausted.Day in and day out I’ve been battling this relentless fear. Just when I think I’ve conquered it and found peace,it comes rushing back to the surface.I’m afraid to read my Bible - a tough reality when you’re a seminary student.My classes form both a distraction from…
Something I learned throughout this journey is that all fear is not created equal. The medieval era anchorite and contemplative Julian of Norwich described four different types of fear: the fear of attack, the fear of punishment, fear that comes from doubt, and fear that springs forth from reverence. While the first three may serve…
One of the challenges that I faced in my season of fear is that — especially within the Christian faith — fear can be a bit of a complicated subject. First there are the hundreds of verses that tell us not to fear. I am well acquainted with these verses, I even have one tattooed…
I awaken in a cold sweat.It's the middle of the night, and my heart is racing.The darkness of the night feels heavy, suffocating.God feels impossibly far from me.Or rather, I feel impossibly far from God.Fear devours my mind.I wrestle with consciousness, longing for the relief of sleep.A reprieve from the darkness that has consumed my…
In my last full day in Israel this past summer, I made my way out into the city on my own for the first time. In the heat of the day I felt the sweat beginning to drip off my face as I made my way around Mount Zion to the southern side of the…
Have you ever made a decision that seems small and inconsequential, but that ends up changing the trajectory of your life? 10 years ago today I had one of those moments. I was on a dark path in life, headed full speed to nowhere good. In the midst of a very routine day, I made…
I remember the first time that it hit me—breathing in the cold winter air in the parking garage of the hospital where I was completing my chaplaincy internship. I was in my final semester of Seminary, and was just starting to seriously consider what the next step might be. The previous year I had settled…
A few years ago I had the amazing opportunity to spend three weeks exploring the land of Israel. If I had to sum up the trip in a sentence, it would be: ROCKS, ROCKS, and more ROCKS. We spent a large portion of our time visiting the ruins of ancient biblical sites like Jericho, Megiddo,…
Paramutheomai 